26

Is there a way to be content and at the same time know that what your most content about wont last forever?

Because that is exactly how I feel about this year.

A year ago I was celebrating my 25th at a hotel with a few of my favorite people.

I cant remember in full detail how I felt and what was going through my head but to some degree I do remember that I was very unsettled and in search of something but not sure exactly what.

I don't know when exactly contentment set in but it has.

I bought a house here.

I feel extremely blessed and happy to work where I work and to be surrounded by great people everyday.

I have prayed desperately ever since I graduated for a great group of steady friends here in Alabama. And Throughout this year I have had many new people come into my life and many old relationships take on new meaning to me.

I am grateful for that.

I am very content.

but 

I'm not complacent.

I feel like I have been striving for a long time trying to figure out the what, the how, the who, the when, the why's of a lot of things.

And this year I just took a serious chill pill. 

I invested in being where I am right now.

And because I have worked so hard this 25th year at just being present; I can look back on this year and see the fruits of that labor:

Good friends, A good home, A great job with people I love, a sense of peace and a comfortableness with myself I was lacking in years past due to all that striving and stress.

I am so easily distracted by my past and too easily fretful of my future.

And when I look back on my 25th year I am happy with it all because I was present. 

And to be present, I can attest, allows for a lot of simple happiness to flow into your life.

I will take that with me into my 26th year.

As I contemplate another year gone by and a new one springing forth,

I am drawn to this concept of being content but not complacent.

I can honestly say 25 was one of the best years so far. 

Nothing extraordinary happened. But I was awed and surprised about how happy just the ordinary can be sometimes.

But I still don't feel quite settled.

Quite accomplished.

Quite OK with it all.

I still want a lot.

even though I don't really have a plan, or a specific dream or list of wants.

I just have that feeling, ya know? That feeling of wanting something else or something new.

And before this year.

I would have stressed about that feeling.

Tried to pin point what it meant. (does it mean I want a husband, a new job, to move, to save the world, to go back to school...?)

But now that I get that sometimes waiting and being patient doesn't necessarily mean you are treading water. 

Even though I didn't move mountains this past year, I still evolved, challenged myself and grew.

I hope 26:

 is just as peaceful with the present as 25 was

As fun and unexpected as 25 was

offers more challenges and growth like 25 did

allows for more clarity and direction like 25 did

offers more ways to love and grow my relationships as 25 did

teaches me that LETTING GO is sometimes the best way to move forward like 25 did

I hope new doors open for me this 26th year

That I will let fear fall to the weigh side like I have been learning to do this past 25th year

forces me in, some way, to try something new, whatever that may be...

Cheers to 26!