It is wonderful to be nice and kind and gracious but it is another to just be stupid over and over and over again and hope for a different outcome in a relationship when there wont be one. (isn't that the definition of insanity?)
I have always prided myself on being someone who takes relationships and friendships very seriously. I have had two best friends since grade school and our friendship is, truly, like no other friendship I have ever encountered. Because of these Rock Solid friendships, I have a high standard for relationships with people. It may seem harsh to just dismiss people but I so value friendship that I am not going to put into something that comes back void, it causes drama and it is a waste of time.
But I have been doing that lately and I am so stressed and tired because of it. Last night it hit me after I tried, for the millionth time, to just be nice and kind and a friend and I got nothing back from a relationship that I keep putting into, that I have to stop and just give up.
I hate this because I see the potential of this friendship. And sometimes it is so right on and everything clicks but more times than not I am left feeling rejected and like I am not worth it to them. And so I just have to stop.
I deserve consistency and to have someone put in as much as I do instead of feeling like I am giving and giving and it always comes back void and with me feeling less than. It isnt healthy. My true friendship prove this. I am never left feeling less then or stressed but rather fulfilled and joyful.
So I have finally resolved to just stop. Stop for good and move on.
I hope you all have wonderful friends who show you how true friendships work and how fulfilling they can be!
I know this is a random picture from the Hangover. But these guys were great friends to each other and I want that! Dont you? (and I that it added a light hearted touch to a somewhat intense post :) )Peace,
I have been through similar termoil lately and although it was hard to let go of certain people I think my life has been happier and certainly less dramatic without some of these people in it.
ReplyDeleteI hate that our friends can hurt us worse than any stupid boy!
ReplyDeletedude... unfortunately this is one of those things that we learn as we get older. but it doesn't make it any easier. i hate that you've been giving your all to someone that isn't willing to accept it and give it back. you're such an awesome person and have such a wonderful spirit. realize this, and realize that honestly, some people just aren't worth your time. keep your head up and be thankful for the wonderful relationships you do have!
ReplyDeletehave a great weekend!
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ReplyDeleteYou know a friend of mine had a quote on his facebook that is so true. It said, "When I was in college, I couldn't count all my friends on two hands. Now, that I'm out of college, I can only count my friends on one hand." That is so true. Some times when the effort is not reciprocated, you just have to let go. It's unhealthy to keep putting yourself in that position. And yeah, it sucks, and it hurts. But in time, the hurt gets better, and you can use the energy you were putting into that friendship into a new one. One that does reciprocate! Love your blog=)
ReplyDeleteI left you something on my blog!
I am going through the same thing. I have a "friend" who I have known for 10 years and she gets so much more out of our friendship than I. I know that may sound selfish but after 10 years of everything we do being on her terms and me going above and beyond, I've had enough. Problem is I'm too nice and don't know how to cut her off.
ReplyDeleteI had two friends who were very dramatic and thrived on negativity. When they left me out of New Year's Eve plans last year (after they would have a fit/pout if I would ask one and not the other to do something), I decided to move on from their drama. Since then, I have found lovely ladies who always meet me halfway and show how important I am to them. They don't cause drama, and I have been having SO much fun with them!
ReplyDeleteBottom line: you seem too sweet to not have people who appreciate and adore you! You are always welcome to come play in Raleigh, NC with me :)
I had to make this decision about a "friend" a couple of months ago as well. She and I clicked and had a great time when we were chatting or hanging out, but she was and is very flakey and inconsiderate. I've been trying really hard to surround myself with positivity, and though some decisions haven't been easy - they've definitely been right! Good luck to you with this situation girl! You're so fortunate to have not only one, but two best friends!
ReplyDelete